Our precious angel Dallin Eric Smith is here!!

                                             He weighed 8lbs 7 oz

                                                22 1/2 in. long

                                      Born Thursday October 25th

                        We are so grateful for this miracle in our family- for it truly has been nothing short of that.  We love our little Dallin!!!  

More big News

Yes, and it has to do with having a wonderful big belly!  I am expecting, and due in October.  We feel so blessed to have this chance again especially after being told by my dear doctor that it might be difficult to have any more children- and I was only 30.   But, after many visits to the doctor and trying to work out this issue knowing and feeling that yes there is still another little one to come to our family- it happened!  So thank you to my family, my mom, the doctors,  medicine, and vitamins and especially the miracles from a loving Heavenly Father- we will have another baby. 

A perfect 4 years

O.k. so today I was released from my calling as Primary president (that last part is so weird for me to say! ) Even  after the fact I cannot think of myself as any kind of leader.  But oh, I will miss being there!!!
 These children and teachers have all meant so much to me over these last almost 4 years.  It was so neat to go down memory lane with them during sharing time today and re-live some of my favorite memories with them. ( Like my stolen sharing time!!) I will miss their prayers, their wonderful honest answers, thier hugs, and high fives- everything.  When they were laughing and having fun, I was laughing with them.  When they were going through their difficult experiences- surgery, friend trouble, or even death I cried with each of them.  Some of our teachers and children have gone through some pretty severe trials.  As a "leader" every time I felt helpless as to how to comfort them, help them and show them love. But, through prayer, the help and love of each of my counselors, bishopric, and the spirit I felt upheld.  My pillow at night was at times drenched with tears as I prayed how to help these precious teachers and little ones- but again inspiration would quickly come and I would feel upheld.  Oh you teachers, presidency and children- you will never know how much you mean to me and all you have taught me.  Thank you, thank you for this perfect learning experience for me.  And I will always love each of you!!   And, yes,  of  course I will still give big treats to "my kids" on Halloween, and welcome you over to my house with open arms to play b-ball, make braclets, or just play!  For you each will always have a place in my heart!

 Some of my wonderful counselors and secretaries and friends of course!!. From the left: Lara Strong, Pamela Adamson, and Denice Lingen.  And  Brooke Slighting, Laura Spencer, Sarah Plummer, Adrienne Jenkins, and Adrianne Erickson, I wish I had a complete photo of each of you!!  Each of you have taught me things I could have never learned on my own, been there for me at times when it got a little rough, been patient with me as I have tried to shed more of my own weaknesses, and have just become some of my dearest friends!  And goodness knows you each were my lifesavers especially during the end of the year primary scramble!  I love each of you and always will !

And here is a main reason it has been a "perfect 4 years".  I have felt so lucky to be in Primary with every one of my own children! Benjamin, Andrew and Nathan. This truly will be difficult to leave them.  For although I have been in my calling as (dare I say it again?! )"president" (the name still intimidates me!), I have actually been in primary for 11 years.  Ever since Ben was in nursery, I have been in Primary. I have watched Benjamin come into Primary and now get ready to leave it for YM. And for Andrew I not only got to help organize his baptism as a mother, but also as his leader.  And Natie, because I was in this calling I had a good excuse to just pop in (with teacher permission of course) to his nursery and primary classes to help out, or sing!  And other things I have been blessed with being in Primary with my children that are too sacred, and too personal to write in a blog.  My children mean the world to me and it has been a great heavenly gift to be with them this long.  A pure heavenly gift.  And I will miss them in there!
      I love Primary.  And I will miss it, and those children, and my own children very, very much! 
    Thanks for a perfect 4 years!  (And perfect 11 years with my own children!)

Brigham got a job!

Yes he did! And I am absolutely thrilled! It's been a loooong road! 11 years AFTER his college degree of training, training and more training. And yes I admit there were definitely times when I thought, "why does he want to be a doctor?" especially during those times when we would never see him. I even remember my oldest boys, then younger, seeing daddy walk through the door only to exclaim, "who's that?". We have rarely seen him. But along with the lonely journey, we have had beautiful moments that I wouldn't trade for anything. And hooray now he has a job to show for all this hard work!
So- where are we going? (Drum roll please) We are going to... Salt Lake City, Utah!!
O.k. so yes we are not moving anywhere, but we are all very, very happy. The boys and I get to stay by our close friends at least for another year. Yeah for Brigham job and yeah we are staying in Salt Lake City!

I Thank God for Friends

In August I was able to see many of my close High School friends. It just reminded me again of not only how much I love those girls, but all those who have come into my life to teach me and uplift me. If I could post of a picture of just the friends in my life who have been such an inspiration, it would take years to go through my blog. (Now I can't even see what I'm writing). And I wish I had a picture of each and every person who has meant so much. From the notes, talks, time together, laughing and those who have waded through some of my own personal struggles. I thank God for the timeless, and priceless gift of good friends.

Some of our fun in Summer

Nathan turned 4? Where did the time go? So here is my littlest best bud at his friend party in September. My kids grow too fast. I try to sprinkle magic on them every night- but it isn't working. Nathan's friend party was a Lightning McQueen, and Natie also picked out some construction themed stuff as well. (I love that he still loves that!) We swam in a pool in the backyard, had snacks and pinnatta, but mainly I just wanted to let Nathan play with what he wanted and do what he wanted to do.

In June Ben officially turned 11. I threw him a "favorite things" party where we just did and ate a bunch of his favorite things. So Harry Potter was mixed in with Star wars, he had pumpkin juice and pizza, and many more of Ben's favorite things. I think a favorite of Ben's and his friends though was chasing the girls with nerf guns at the park. (Is he really this old yet?)

In May, Brigham surprised me and took me to Zion's. We hiked, talked, ate at some great places, relaxed and enjoyed each other. It was wonderful. And thanks to my dear for setting that all up- it meant a lot!!

Then in July our Family took a vacation to Yellowstone where we spent about a week, hiking, swimming, and seeing so many of the amazing things there. My personal favorite was hearing the kids gasp when they saw the first sign of the massive heat under this whole amazing place. (We were driving in and saw these hills of steam, and the kids were clearly impressed). That's why I wanted to take our family there!

Heavenly Sisters

I love my sisters. They have each been through a lot lately. Alicia a few months ago was in a long boarding accident and though she is still recovering fully, it truly is a miracle to me she is doing as well as she is. So to Alicia I want to write this little note.

It was hard to watch you go through this accident Alicia, more than I could fully convey. But, the day I came over to help you walk after you were home from the hospital will always be treasured to me. To have your arm around me, and mine around you- to have to walk so close side by side was a heavenly moment for me. Together we walked slowly, trying with each little step to make it around the obstacles back to your home. And know Alicia, that's what I want to be. The kind of big sister who is willing to walk by you, side by side, with whatever trials or challenges you may face, and to help you as you will help me come back Home again to our Heavenly home. So know Alicia, because I feel so much love for you I will ask you about our little "secret goal" and will keep asking, because I am your sister. And I want to be that kind of sister. I love you Alicia.

love, Ces

And to Camille. I have to admit, that every time you have had a pregnancy now, I have held my breath. Waiting and hoping it will not be another miscarriage- and especially another Kylee. So when I found out you were experiencing the same complications as with Kylee- I worried for you. And now, your husband is also not available to help with his recent accident. Oh my dear, I am here for you, and will be here for you. I am so thrilled you can have another baby and want this to be another wonderful experience. You are my sister- my roommate for 16 years and my dear friend. I love you Camille. You have born with all your trials so amazingly and I have no doubt will do so again.

Love, Ces

Being a mom is my "dream come true"

Ever since I can remember I always wanted to grow up to be a mom. Now that dream is reality and it's even better than I could have ever imagined. I love feeling those tiny arms around me in the morning when I wake up. I love hearing the door open and shut when Ben or Andrew has returned home. I love our moments when we are laughing so hard we cry, and then our sides hurt and we can't stop- then we laugh some more. I love just playing with them. Playing "diggers" an "backhoes", playing basketball, and tennis, and sometimes just plain being together. I love that we can talk- and talk- and talk for hours. That I can read my old journals from when I was their age, and that they can laugh and think how "weird" I was. And then that they read me- their journals- something so secret and special- and that they would trust me enough to read it to me. I love hearing the creative stories, funny jokes, and getting the gentle kisses on my cheek. If I could choose going to the store with my children or without- I'd pick with hands down (and no I am not lying!). I will always want to be a mother. Forever. They are my perfect pieces of heaven sent to me to help me learn how to be more like Him. It is, I feel my past- what I have been preparing to be. My present- what I have the perfect blessing of savoring now. And my future- what I am preparing to be for eternity. I can't imagine anything more divine, more beautiful, and more fulfilling. Yes,there have been times when I have felt so exhausted from the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual demands this great calling requires. Even times when I have felt the full fury and wrath of a world that diminishes this priceless gift- times when I have been looked down upon for "just" being a mother. And times when I have plead for heavenly help knowing that only He knows the full extent of my child's trial or pain. But I feel it is also these moments that make it so perfect. So real. And so right. SO yes, being a mother is my dream come true. A dream that no person could ever have the imagination, or capability of ever conjuring up such a perfect recipe for learning to be like Him. And to my angels- Benjamin, Andrew, and Nathan- I am so honored to be your mom. (And yes I believe I so picked you for my own!!) I love you my best friends.
Love forever,
mom

Should we wait until he's 16?

This is too funny and cute to resist sharing it with everyone. We had a good laugh watching Nathan drive. (And by the way this is at Legoland when we went last October.)

I have wondered more the true meaning of "perfection" and what that really entails. Does it truly mean we have to be perfect, and never make a mistake? I was reminded of this lately when I did make a mistake and felt whenever I saw this person all I cold see was how I wronged them. Almost like all the good I ever did was being smothered by this grey memory of my mistake . Literally like a dark grey spot hampering my vision to what was truly going on. But, I know in my heart The Lord does not require this of us. And though I have come leaps and bounds from when I was younger, I still know I have a long way to go before truly relying "wholly upon Him who is mighty to save." So more than ever before I have come to learn that true perfection is realizing how imperfect you are and then trusting fully in Him. Realizing that we cannot and will not make it alone no matter how much good we do, how many scriptures we read, and how many service projects we take part in (or may I put in how many children we have, how perfectly clean our home is with little children, or how physically fit we are despite having 10 kids). We can't. And that I believe is the true meaning of perfection. Realizing we too need the Lord.

some of our fun lately

Snow boarding lessons at Park City for $25 each! This was such a neat thing for us since my bigger boys (especially Ben) has expressed interest in it more. I really thought about how to go about this since I want to be careful and not add too many things that would take away from our families needs. The only thing i saw was the school snowboarding lessons for more money and would take more time. Then a good friend told me about this. So much cheaper and we could do it just once or 5 times! (Love it) We went two times (that was plenty!!) and they got their basic lessons (since Brigham and I don't know a thing about snowboarding that's why I was looking for a lesson). I was so grateful they got this chance. Good things do come to those who wait (even the simple desires like this).

Benjamin after his first piano festival. He did such a wonderful job (this festival preparation takes soo much practice!) And he got even the highest rating. (But whatever he was "awarded" I knew he knew the songs at that "superior" level anyway- it's just neat he got it). Way to go Ben! (And I looove being your piano teacher!!)

Ben has also picked up Clarinet this year and has a fabulous teacher at school. He will get to play at the Capitol building as well coming up soon. Awesome, Ben!

Natie and his good friend Amelia as superheros. My dear friend Jenny and I swap for a mini "pre-school/ playgroup" and this time I wanted to do the Joy school theme of "my favorite super hero" where they learn more about themselves and their own wonderful abilities and talents. (can you tell it's a favorite lesson to teach of mine!) It was soo cute to hear all the things they already know about themselves. In the end I made a letter for them to wear on their shirts just like a superhero. Nate got a big "N" and Amelia a big letter "A".

More superhero fun.

Iceblocking at Andrew's 9th Birthday Party

Andrew's 9th Birthday party with his friends was going to be a winter theme- sledding party. But since there was no snow we created our own winter fun and went
"sledding" anyway. It turned out to be a blast and the kids wanted to stay even longer. And Nathan even tried "iceblocking" and went down the whole hill by himself. (Besides I just looove that picture!)

Andrew's snowmen cupcakes for his party. I had way to much fun making these with my kids!! But that's what I do it for- for our time together and their faces when they see them.

Happy Halloween!!

                                                     Happy Halloween!!! Love , all of us

Lessons From My Two Angels

Because it's October- when our twins would have been born, I've been thinking about the lessons this past year has brought us already. Since I am also in the middle of writing the Primary Program I have realized how much this one event has helped to shape so much this year, even in shaping the Primary program. I remember how I saw those two angels in the ultrasound and how beautiful they looked. And then when I was told "there's no heartbeat"- how my world changed. I remember sitting alone after the doctor had left and seeing a tissue box. For the first time, I realized there was ever one in those ultrasound rooms. I had never noticed that before. "So this is what they are here for. For times like these." I remember having to tell Brigham- then to somehow tell the children. They were so happy when I told them I had twins, Andrew even said "I knew it!", but choking back the tears, and trying to be brave I told them they had died. But since then, I have learned a lot. The most important being that the Lord's timing of things is always better. For on my time table I would have another baby. One that Nathan could grow up with and play with. But that was not to be, and now I believe was suppose to be that way. And somehow this is right. I do have faith, but know I have prayed many times this year, "Father, I believe, help thou mine unbelief". I believe his timing is better- but through these trials I know my own "belief" will be strengthened.

Some Legoland and beach pics

Mt. Rushmore all made from Legos. We all loved seeing all these creations!

All the boys on the Lego Pirate ship.

This was probably Nathan's favorite part of Legoland. It was a recreation of big cities in the U.S.- all made out of Legos. But what he loved the most was just watching all the real working lego cars, buses, and trains.

Playing at the "seedweed" beach as Natie called it. When I asked him if he liked the beach, he said "yah, but I like the other beach better without the seedweed". But, rain or shine (and it almost did), seaweed or no seaweed we all got in the water and played.

Random thoughts

We just got back from Legoland as a family. We loved it, and I loved it because I was with my family all alone and we were just together enjoying each other. So to me I guess, we could go anywhere fun all together and I would love it- just because we are together. But now we are back into school, homework, soccer, primary program writing, seminars, scouts etc. . I am ready for another vacation! (At least Friday movie night with my 4 best friends). Maybe we'll do a Wednesday movie night.



I just made pumpkin cookies for my family and forgot how much they make. I am soo excited because I also got to make some neighbors happy, and I have a treat to bring to Andrew's Halloween party next week. (But of course the best ones I saved for my bestest friends.)

I love being a mommy

Nathan is talking to me right now, asking questions like, "what are these?", "What does this do?". I love his tiny voice.

I woke up this morning to Natie's cute hands rubbing my back. What a sweetheart.

I just finished plating the "wind game" with all three of my boys. We all ended up in a big doggy pile, laughing hard in the end.

Now I am going to read to my children- my favorite!

I love being a mom.

A family favorite we decided- chocolate truffle cheesecake.

Our new pet "Snowball" our guniea pig.

Nathan was knighted one night at FHE as an offical "Soldier for Heavenly Father" (and holy moly a cutie one!!)

Andrew's baptism was January 2, 2010.

Andrew and I at Red Lobster (his pick) for his pre- baptism dinner.

Andrew's baptism picture. Such a handsome, special boy!! We are soo lucky! ( Forgive me, I am horrible with computers and have no clue how to fix this!)

Atlanta!!

A

Yes we got to go back to Georgia in March and it was perfect! Even though Natie was sick most of the time, then it passed on to Ben and Andrew. And I was sick the whole time and pregnant- we still had a great time. I admit though, I was discouraged the after day three when we were all not feeling well and we hadn't been able to see any of our old places. I beagn to think, "why did we come? To sit around a hotel room?" But the very next day at the end of our trip we did get to go out and see all the places that meant the most to us, and even see some old friends that are still there. That to me made all the waiting and wondering worth it, because that's all I wanted to do. I didn't care about going to theme parks or zoos or even our cool Aquarium we use to go to. I mainly just wanted to see our old house, and Brigham wanted to see Emory. We got our wish and more- and it turned out to be one of my favorite and most meaningful trips of all and there were no theme parks, zoos, or beaches included- just wonderful memories all of us shared. So here are some pictures!